A recently published conclusive and irrefutable study shows females in their mid-to-late thirties with a last name beginning with the letter Q who eat Liberté yogourt are subject to severe and potentially life questioning reactions. All Liberté yogourts, especially those sold at the dearest Harlem Fairway grocery market have been recalled by Daily Prandium laboratories. Each Liberté yogourt affected by the recall is currently undergoing careful and extensive testing. Results of the tests will be posted as they become available. Until that time, any and all Liberté yogourts purchased by women with a last name beginning with the letter Q and are in their mid-to-late thirties are urged to send all Liberté yogourts to Daily Prandium laboratories immediately under threat of dire consequences. Until further notice, Daily Prandium laboratories recommends eating Stonyfield farm organic yoghurt, which is also available for purchase at dearest Fairway and has not been implicated in any studies nor is subject to the current urgent recall.
Disclaimer: Like quite a lot of what is written at Daily Prandium, this is complete and utter buffoonery.